Mary, mother of Jesus | Douglas Wilhelm Hard

Preamble: I strongly believe in the freedom of religion, and every person has a right to believe whatever they want:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.
Zeus is the sky and thunder god who rules as king of the gods on Mount Olympus with his sister and wife Hera.
There are many gods and goddesses, either of the Æsir or the Vanir, who fought each other for millennia until they achieved an entente. There also exist jötnar, dwarfs, elves, and land-wights. Our world, Midgard, is one of many that exist on the world tree Yggdrasil that also included worlds of the afterlife.
A god whose personal name is "Yahweh" is the creator of the universe some 6000 years ago and demands blood sacrifices of unblemished lambs to ensure that his priests have an unlimited supply of red meat. That god, while being only the only god, has three different distinct personas, Yahweh himself (a god that has gonads for some reason) who has existed forever, the Son of Yahweh whose name is the Salvation of Yahweh (and yet this son has also existed forever and does not seem to have a mother), and the Spirit of Yahweh whose job it is to bestows gifts on true-believers here on Earth. This god played favorites for 4000 years, 2000 of which he only blessed and communicated with one particular tribe in the Levant, and then sent himself to be sacrificed to himself by being hung on a tree--something that he himself said would cause that person to be cursed--so that he could send himself to bestow gifts to those true-believers, and all who believe that Yahweh is indeed god and the Salvation of Yahweh died for you will go to heaven, while 100 people each and every minute die and go to a pit of fire forever to be tormented by an angel that Yahweh created knowing this angel world torment billions of humans forever.
The world is flat.
We did not land on the Moon in 1969.
The COVID vaccines do not work.

However, this right does not allow you to interfere and harm the lives of others. The Christian scriptures explicitly state that

life begins when an infant takes its first breath (the breath of life) and ends when a person exhales the last breath;
causing an abortion is nothing more than a property crime against the father resulting in nothing more than a fine to be paid; and
if a woman is suspected of becoming pregnant by anyone other than her husband, she should be forced to drink a concoction that, if she was indeed unfaithful, would cause an abortion of that fetus.

Never-the-less, those same individuals believe it is their right to prevent women from seeking medical interventions to protect their health and life. Carrying a child to term

can be life-terminating or have health-altering consequences that may affect one's entire life, and
can, when one is not yet ready to start parenthood, have significant negative mental health and other real-world serious consequences on both the parents and the child.

You have a right to believe what you believe, but you do not have the right to adversely affect the lives of others, and you most certainly do not have the right to be protected from criticism. Thus, until the time comes that true-believers stop literally harming others, let us look at the collection of texts that many true-believers believe and claim, without evidence, is the sole infallible source of authority for all humans on this planet.

Let us look at how Mary, spouse of Joseph, and mother of Jesus. Let us look at what is said about her in each of the gospels. We will, of course, start with Mark.

Mark

In this text, the mother of Jesus makes one and only one appearance, for news of Jesus's activities seem to have reached his family, and

When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.”

Thus, Jesus's family believes that Jesus has had some sort of mental health crisis, and they go to try to help help, but

Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

Now, if Jesus was adopted the "Son of Yahweh" at his baptism, then this makes perfect sense: Jesus was born in and grew up in Nazareth, and he was no different than any other child. His mother Mary would not have thought of him as being a divine birth, he was born her son with Joseph, and there would not have been anything outstanding about him. After all, the author of Mark records the reaction of the people of Nazareth when he returned once to preach:

“Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been given to him? What deeds of power are being done by his hands! Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?”

Thus, no one else in Nazareth noticed anything special about Jesus while he was growing up, either. Following this, Jesus says “Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house.” The people in Jesus's hometown knew his flaws and character, and there was nothing extraordinary when he grew up. Recall that the author of Mark does not claim Jesus was born a supernatural birth, but rather the spirit of Yahweh entered into him at his baptism (a spirit that left him on the cross before he died).

Now, suppose there was someone in your community who was "perfect," meaning, someone who never sinned, not even once. Someone who never swore or cursed, never disobeyed either parent no matter what, was never sexually interested in any other man or woman in village (even as an adolescent or young man), never stole, never lied, never had any desire for anything not belonging to himself, etc., then why would anyone wonder about his character? We will look at this while we discuss passages with Mary in both Math and Luke.

Matthew

Next, we go to Matthew, where the first mention of Mary is as being the mother of Jesus:

and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah.

Next the only other comments about Mary include comments about her:

When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.

But just when [Joseph] had resolved to [dismiss her quietly], an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

Finally,

When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

In the following few verses, still surrounding the birth narrative in Matthew, we see Mary receiving the three magi:

On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

The only remaining references to her in the birth narrative include her participation in the flight to Egypt and the subsequent return. However, what is critical here is that Mary should very well be aware of some significance to Jesus: she had a child despite never having had sexual intercourse, three strangers appear one day offering gifts of extreme value, and her husband continually having dreams that led them from Bethlehem to Egypt and then to Nazareth. Thus, it is not surprising that the author of Matthew, while copying from Mark, leaves out the verse that Jesus's family, including Mary, that went to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” What is awkward, however, is that Matthew, as discussed elsewhere, succumbs to editorial fatigue. In Mark, he indicates that his family are coming to restrain him, and when they do arrive, he ignores them, and dismisses them, saying that his followers (or in the case of Matthew, his disciples) are his mother and brothers. Matthew, however, only has his mother and brothers arriving with no reason being given for them coming to see him, and so

While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

The narrative in Mark makes sense: Jesus is rebutting his family's attempt to restrain him; however, without the preamble, in Matthew, he is now simply ignoring his family. The issue, however, is that the author of Matthew has already had Mary experience a miracle conception, and has had her receive fantastic gifts from strangers at Jesus's birth, so the author simply chose to remove the verse that suggests that Mary was questioning Jesus's activities.

However, while the author of Matthew did remove one questionable verse about Mary, he continued to include the narrative of Jesus returning to Nazareth and being

“Where did this man get this wisdom and these deeds of power? Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not his mother called Mary? And are not his brothers James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? And are not all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all this?”

Of course, the author of Matthew has Jesus portrayed as a perfect being, so in such a small community as Nazareth, would not at least some of the inhabitants have realized that there was something special about this one son who never swore or cursed, never disobeyed either parent no matter what, was never sexually interested in any other man or woman in village (even as an adolescent or young man), never stole, never lied, never had any desire for anything not belonging to himself, etc.? Why would they then consider it unreasonable that someone so ideal would have, at the very least, the wisdom they have observed him to have? However, all of this becomes much more confusing in the narrative of Luke.

Luke

Next, we come to Luke, and here Mary is suddenly exalted to a significant and central figure in the narrative. Before we get to her, we first become aware of another individual: Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist:

In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, ... . His wife was ... Elizabeth.

She was “descended from the daughters of Aaron.” King Herod died in 4 BCE, so it seems the following all starts prior to King Herod's death. Zechariah is told by Gabriel that Elizabeth will become pregnant. Zechariah does not believe Gabriel, for both he and Elizabeth are old, so Gabriel makes him a mute until the child is born. To be fair, it does not say that Elizabeth becomes pregnant immediately, so Zechariah could have been mute for a decade before his son is born. However, Elizabeth eventually becomes pregnant, at a very old age, and after being pregnant for six months, Mary is not spoken to in dreams, but rather with visits from Gabriel and these discussions are repeated verbatim:

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Before we go on, let us contrast the response of Gabriel to each of Zechariah and to Mary. First, to Zechariah:

But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, ...”

Zechariah said to the angel, “How can I know that this will happen? For I am an old man, and my wife is getting on in years.”

The angel replied, “I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. But now, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.”

Thus, for not understanding how Elizabeth will become pregnant, as both he and she are old, he is, I would say, severely punished. Let us now look at the discussion with Elizabeth:

The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, ...”

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?”

The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God... For nothing will be impossible with God.”

The exact same exclamation of disbelief, but instead of being punished by being made mute, all Mary gets is an explanation.

Let us return to Mary going out to visiting Elizabeth:

In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country, where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.”

And Mary said,

“My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy,
according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”

And Mary remained with her about three months and then returned to her home.

Thus, Mary is a relative of John the Baptist; perhaps Elizabeth is her aunt, in which case John the Baptist is Mary's cousin, or perhaps Elizabeth is a great aunt, in which case, John the Baptist is Mary's cousin once removed. Mary (from Nazareth) appears to visit with Elizabeth (living in the Judean hills likely around Jerusalem) for three months; that is, until John the Baptist is born. It is awkward that despite knowledge of the familial relationship between John the Baptist and Jesus for fifty years after Jesus's execution, only one gospel writer even mentions this?

Also notice that it does not say that Mary immediately became pregnant, although it does suggest that she is engaged to Joseph. She likely would not have remained a virgin while engaged for a full decade; however, the problem is that Jesus is born in or after 6 CE, for it is the census of Quirinius that forces them to travel to Bethlehem. Thus, either:

The comment about Zechariah living at the time of King Herod was just a throwaway statement, but Gabriel visited him only ten years after the death of King Herod, and Mary becomes pregnant soon thereafter when Gabriel visits her.
Zechariah is in fact visited by Gabriel while King Herod is alive, but is made mute and Elizabeth does not get pregnant for another decade, and Mary becomes pregnant soon thereafter when Gabriel visits her.
Zechariah is visited by Gabriel while King Herod is alive, Elizabeth becomes pregnant, Gabriel visits Mary soon thereafter, who then goes to visit Elizabeth, but Mary does not become pregnant for another nine or ten years, remaining a virgin all that time, and only becoming pregnant just before the census of Quirinius.

However it happened, Mary will find herself travelling south again, but this time to Bethlehem. Next, we discuss the travel to Bethlehem and the birth of Jesus:

He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

The next reference is the shepherds visiting her:

So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.

Finally, just over a month, the family travels to Jerusalem, where Simeon has a few things to say about Jesus, with the response

And the child’s father and mother were amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to his mother Mary, “This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed—and a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

Given that Mary had already been visited by the angel Gabriel, saw her relative become pregnant and give birth at a very old age, and her herself given birth to this same child without sexual intercourse, why would she be amazed? After all, she must have recalled what the angel Gabriel told her (for how else would the author of Luke know what words to transcribe?): “He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

After they return to Nazareth, we note that Jesus “grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.” One would expect that the other denizens of Nazareth would have noticed this. By the time the child is twelve years old, they make a journey to the Temple and on the journey home, after twenty four hours on route (it is 100 km from Jerusalem to Nazareth, so perhaps 150 km via the roads at that time) and assuming 30 to 40 km in one day, they finally realize Jesus is not in the caravan. Think about that: your 12-year old is with you on a trip from Niagara Falls to Toronto, and you just assume that he is "somewhere else" in the train. The setting for the next story is absurd, and believable only if you are already inclined to believe that this is god making the journey with his parents. However, the story is set to make another point about this child: after realizing their son isn't in the caravan, they return and

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers.

Consequently,

When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

Why did Mary not understand what Jesus was saying? Did she not have an angel speaking directly to her prior to Jesus's birth? Did she not find herself miraculously pregnant? Did the Magi not visit her and present her with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh? Has she not remained celibate, if that doctrine is to be believed, since the birth of Jesus? Would she not be aware that Yahweh is Jesus's father?

However, following this “Jesus increased in wisdom and in years, and in divine and human favor.” Surely, he would be increasing in human favor in his home town of Nazareth, as well. Following this, Jesus is baptized by John the Baptist, goes wandering in the wilderness, is tempted by Satan (while visiting the Temple and then a mountain, or was it a mountain and then the Temple?), and then begins to preach throughout Galilee. When he returns to Nazareth, however, the scenario is yet again that described in Mark:

All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They said, “Is not this Joseph’s son?”

Yes, this is Joseph's son who previously has been described as being "filled with wisdom" even before the age of twelve, entering into discussions at the Temple that caused "all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers" and increasing "in wisdom," all while living in Nazareth, the people of which had seen that this Jesus never swore or cursed, never disobeyed either parent no matter what, was never sexually interested in any other man or woman in village (even as an adolescent or young man), never stole, never lied, never had any desire for anything not belonging to himself, etc. Yet they now are "amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth"?

The last appearance of Mary in the gospel of Luke is a repetition of the story found in Mark and Matthew, but like the author of Matthew, the author of Luke does leave out the comment that suggests that Mary and her other sons were coming to detain Jesus, but the author never-the-less copies the balance of the story, which now makes no sense with the context given in Mark:

Then his mother and his brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of the crowd. And he was told, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” But he said to them, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.”

It is simple enough to compare the words recorded here in Luke with those in Mark and Matthew:

And he replied, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

This begs the question: is denying your mother honoring her? The other humorous aspect is that despite the authors of Matthew and Luke copying from Mark, and the first claiming to have great insights into the dreams of Joseph, the father of Jesus, and the latter claiming to be able to transcribe discussions between the angel Gabriel and Mary, together with the speeches of Simeon and Anna in the Temple to Mary, are unable to faithfully record the words of Jesus and instead insist on changing them to suit their interpretation (e.g., Jesus was born the son of Yahweh according to Matthew). Did Jesus say "word of God" or "will of God" or "will of my Father in heaven"? Surely he could have only said one of these on this occasion.

After this, Mary appears one more time immediately after the ascension of Jesus:

Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a sabbath day’s journey away. When they had entered the city, they went to the room upstairs where they were staying, Peter, and John, and James, and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus, and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. All these were constantly devoting themselves to prayer, together with certain women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, as well as his brothers.

Interestingly that there is no mention of Mary at the execution of of Jesus, but that fortunately is answered in John.

John

The author of John first refers to Jesus's mother (although never by name) where we have a situation where a wedding has run out of wine, and Jesus's mother instructs her son to turn the water into wine so that people at the wedding can continue to get drunk:

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

While most of the events in Mark, Matthew and Luke occur in and near Capernaum, the only reference to Capernaum in John is where Jesus travels there with his mother:

After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples; and they remained there a few days.

The story of Jesus returning to Nazareth is repeated in John, and you are welcome to compare and contrast the text:

Then the Jews began to complain about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” They were saying, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

The author of John, however, does include Mary (although again, not by name) at execution site:

Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

This is awkward, as the author of Mark records:

There were also women looking on from a distance; among them were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome. These used to follow him and provided for him when he was in Galilee; and there were many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem.

There is no mention of Jesus's mother being among the women. The author of Matthew also records that:

Many women were also there, looking on from a distance; they had followed Jesus from Galilee and had provided for him. Among them were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.

There is no mention of Jesus's mother, but there are two Marys. Finally, Luke does not even name any woman, but instead tells that:

A great number of the people followed him, and among them were women who were beating their breasts and wailing for him. But Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For the days are surely coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us’; and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ For if they do this when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

But all his acquaintances, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.

The women who had come with him from Galilee followed, and they saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned, and prepared spices and ointments. On the sabbath they rested according to the commandment.

It is odd, is it not, that while Matthew and especially Luke give such significance to Mary, that neither text (nor Mark) mentions that Mary the mother of Jesus was there in Jerusalem at the cross. Both Matthew and Mark list various Marys that were there, but none are the mother of Jesus.

This is the last mention of the Mary, the mother of Jesus in John.

Presence in Jerusalem at the execution

One interesting point is if Mary was at the execution, then she would have already had to have been in Jerusalem. No mention is made of her accompanying Joseph, and no mention is made of her accompanying Jesus, and given that there was no more than thirteen or fourteen hours between Jesus's arrest and execution, it is unlikely someone would have made the journey to Nazareth to bring Mary to Jerusalem: it is a one-day journey by foot one way, and a horse is unlikely to make the 280 km journey in the requisite time. Thus, it seems that Mary made the journey to Jerusalem herself for Passover, but then again, the gospel of Luke records that “every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover,” so once Joseph is out of the picture, it's not entirely unsurprising that Mary continued this obligation.

One final mention

While the gospel of Luke has Jesus ascend into heaven the same day that the women (including Mary) visits the tomb, the book of Acts has Jesus remain on Earth for a full forty days before he ascends into heaven. After Jesus ascends into heaven, the author of Luke records that

Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a Sabbath day’s journey away. When they had entered the city, they went to the room upstairs where they were staying: Peter, and John, and James, and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus, and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. All these were constantly devoting themselves to prayer, together with certain women, including Mary the mother of Jesus, as well as his brothers.

Thus, Mary and her other sons were present, but that is the last mention of her by any of the authors of the gospels.

What about Joseph?

There are very few mentions of Joseph in the gospels and he never makes an appearance during Jesus's ministry. Yes, Joseph appears in the birth narratives, but that is the only mention of Joseph in Matthew. Joseph is never mentioned in Mark. He makes only one more appearance in Luke when Jesus is twelve years old:

Now every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up as usual for the festival. When the festival was ended and they started to return, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents were unaware of this. Assuming that he was in the group of travelers, they went a day’s journey. Then they started to look for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously looking for you.” He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them, and his mother treasured all these things in her heart.

The only other recording of his name in Luke is a statement from the crowd at the synagogue at Nazareth:

All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth. They said, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”

In John, Joseph's name is mentioned twice, although he never makes an appearance. The first mention is after Jesus's baptism:

Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found him about whom Moses in the Law and also the Prophets wrote, Jesus son of Joseph from Nazareth.”

Note that Jesus is explicitly stated to be the “son of Joseph from Nazareth” and not the son of Mary. Was the author of John not aware Mary was a virgin at the time of Jesus's birth? He certainly never mentioned anything about Mary's virginity. John also records that

They were saying, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

Of course, what is interesting is that this is said in the vicinity of Capernaum and the Sea of Galilee, so how does this crowd aware of who his parents were? After all, the author of John recorded that only Mary accompanied Jesus, his brothers, and his disciples to Capernaum after the wedding at Cana.

In any case, it would seem the Joseph is no longer in the picture during Jesus's ministry, and yet not one gospel records his death.

Summary and conclusions

To summarize, the portrayal of Mary is very different in the various gospels. In Mark, she is not even aware of Jesus being in any way divine, and instead attempts to detain him together with her other sons when word of Jesus's teachings spreads. In Matthew, Mary becomes aware of the significance of her son, and at least it is not recorded that she was trying to constrain him, but the balance of that story, where Mary and her other sons attempt to reach Jesus, is still included. In Luke, Mary becomes a much more central figure at least in the first few chapters, but following the birth narrative, she appears as often as she does in Matthew. Finally, John does not even mention her by name, but rather has her convince Jesus to turn water into wine so that the drunkards at a wedding that had already drank all the wine that was available could continue drinking, together with her joining Jesus in his seminal trip to Capernaum, and the story of Jesus returning to Nazareth, but now the author of John also has her present at his execution, although no explanation is given why she is there. Joseph, on the other hand, makes no appearance in any of the gospels during Jesus's ministry.